介紹評(píng)分原則的基礎(chǔ)上,我們來(lái)對(duì)比實(shí)例,,看看4分,、6分和8分作文(注意:雅思寫(xiě)作小分滿分9,越高越好)之間的差距到底在哪里,。有比較才能有鑒別,,知道了好作文好在哪里,也就能模仿著寫(xiě)出好文章了,。PS 輔導(dǎo)班大概會(huì)講無(wú)數(shù)套路或者模板,,但其實(shí)這種對(duì)比的繁瑣工作最有效,備考者能靈活運(yùn)用的話,,1篇足夠,。只不過(guò)備考者不愿意看、覺(jué)得無(wú)用浪費(fèi)時(shí)間,,沒(méi)有市場(chǎng)自然就沒(méi)人做資料,;也算是作繭自縛吧。
Task 2:
Write about the following topic:
Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However,some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects.
Why is shopping so popular?
What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals andon society?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
各位讀者請(qǐng)花一點(diǎn)時(shí)間,,自己列一個(gè)提綱或者先寫(xiě)一篇,,然后自己去思考對(duì)比各等級(jí)作文是否滿足評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)、在多大程度上滿足,。最后拿著自己的同時(shí)看后面分析會(huì)更有效果,。不愿意浪費(fèi)時(shí)間的話也沒(méi)關(guān)系,反正我已經(jīng)學(xué)會(huì)了~
4分作文(https://www.chinaielts.org/pdf/G/GTask2_4.pdf)
6分作文(https://www.chinaielts.org/pdf/G/GTask2_6.pdf)
8分作文(https://www.chinaielts.org/pdf/G/GTask2_8.pdf)
寫(xiě)作任務(wù)回應(yīng),。開(kāi)頭第一段,,8分不走尋常路,除了第一句引入,,剩下一個(gè)大段都在回應(yīng)第一個(gè)任務(wù),,人為啥喜歡逛街。6分作文就很像常見(jiàn)套路的introduction了,,引入話題 總領(lǐng)下文,;第一個(gè)寫(xiě)作任務(wù)在第二段回應(yīng)。? 回應(yīng)各部分寫(xiě)作任務(wù),,check,。但是,,兩者對(duì)寫(xiě)作任務(wù)的回應(yīng)程度一樣嗎,或者說(shuō)有沒(méi)有某一部分論證充分另一部分相對(duì)弱,?這個(gè)我們先擱置,,放在后面講。4分作文開(kāi)啟了侃大山跑火車模式,,考官應(yīng)該非常開(kāi)心地看了開(kāi)頭然后給了殘酷的分,。
語(yǔ)法多樣性及準(zhǔn)確性。請(qǐng)用改錯(cuò)的心態(tài)去看6分作文,,有沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤,?如果沒(méi)有,那一定要去加強(qiáng)語(yǔ)法知識(shí)的學(xué)習(xí)和敏感度,,不然的話寫(xiě)作得分堪憂啊,。
Shopping as a leisure activity is an issue that arouses(arouses這個(gè)詞6分作者拼錯(cuò)了,寫(xiě)成了araises,,注意還暴露了想用arises這個(gè)不及物動(dòng)詞,,正確用法只能是problems arise??脊伲河迷~不準(zhǔn)確啊,,扣分!)endlessdebates(原文是an endlessdebates,這里數(shù)字不一致,,有a 又有復(fù)數(shù),,一個(gè)辯論們?要么是endless debates,,要么是an endless debate,。考官:語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤,,扣分!). There are, therefore, manyarguments about positive and negative effects(這句沒(méi)事). In this essay I am writing to talk about(原文寫(xiě)的是writing to about,,兩個(gè)詞組搭配走串門了嘿,要么是write about 要么是write to talk about,??脊伲河皱e(cuò)了,給我殺,! ) the reasons of shopping's popularity and effects on individual andon society(這里有個(gè)不能算錯(cuò)的地方,,雖然是并列結(jié)構(gòu),但第二個(gè)on一般省略更地道,,不省也不能算錯(cuò)).
對(duì)于6分作文,,想要開(kāi)門見(jiàn)山,結(jié)果開(kāi)門見(jiàn)山崖,,三個(gè)語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤把自己掉大坑,。語(yǔ)法準(zhǔn)確度沒(méi)了,,多樣性呢?簡(jiǎn)單句為主,,第一段一個(gè)that引導(dǎo)的定語(yǔ)從句,,第二段一個(gè)who引導(dǎo)的定語(yǔ)從句和when引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句。不能說(shuō)不好,,只是相形見(jiàn)絀,。
看看8分作文開(kāi)頭,不犯錯(cuò) 句句亮點(diǎn)完虐:Shopping is very popular among the majority of the population(同義替換people,,同理下文所有,,符合詞匯豐富標(biāo)準(zhǔn)), despite(一個(gè)高級(jí)詞匯,表示“不論”,,可以與regardless替換) their age and social standards. Thisis due to the fact that(名詞性從句下的同位語(yǔ)從句,fact 在主句中做due to 的賓語(yǔ),,that后面的一整個(gè)句子是fact的同位語(yǔ),,解釋說(shuō)明“是什么樣的fact”,fact在從句中不擔(dān)任語(yǔ)法角色,,且引導(dǎo)詞必須是that,、不能省略。. Thisis due to the fact that 從句這個(gè)句型非常好用,,在說(shuō)明原因的時(shí)候一定要用,,代替because。PS despite和fact結(jié)合的話會(huì)是什么,?)most people find shopping as an experience which makes a difference in(搭配正確,,difference in) their day to day life(同義替換rountine、daily life). Some people find themselves in adifferent world, surrounded by(surrounded是非謂語(yǔ),,表示人們被包圍的含義,,也可以理解成形容詞或者定語(yǔ)從句省略;注意非謂語(yǔ)surrounded的主語(yǔ)和主句主語(yǔ)是同一個(gè)才是正確的,。不是同一個(gè)怎么辦,?可以用with ,可以用從句,,可以用懸垂結(jié)構(gòu),。) various material things which they may or may not be able to purchase. Even if they are not able to finance this(finance符合詞匯豐富的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),同義替換了buy,、purchase,,還可以用afford;this指代詞,,有效連貫和銜接的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),;同理下一句those,、全篇的they、it,、some等), they find much pleasure in looking and feeling those things.and imagining owing them some day(-ing做賓語(yǔ)的三并列,;owing 是having的同義替換,更高級(jí)正式的書(shū)面語(yǔ) ). Some people go shopping when they really want to purchase things and they prefer to look around and compare the prices before buying them(非謂語(yǔ)/時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句省略). I think most people love to go shopping because(原因狀語(yǔ)從句) they could meet friends, make contacts with people and get to know what(賓語(yǔ)從句) is in the latest trend. It provides them a pleasant distraction from their routines and sometimes dull life(provide和distraction的搭配正確,、詞義恰當(dāng)且不常見(jiàn)的高級(jí)詞匯).
這么一看,,8分作文的四個(gè)評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)都比6分高出一大截啊,得分高也是實(shí)至名歸,。貨比貨得扔,,人比人得……還不能死,先把作文提高了~如果能不犯錯(cuò)6分作文可以向7分看齊,;所以如果提高到8分很艱難,,那么就從“少犯錯(cuò) 一兩個(gè)亮點(diǎn)”做起~ 后面的部分,大家自己分析能不能搞定呢,?